"A patsy is somebody who has a deep, very serious need to be accepted, to be liked, to be part of something, and is willing to go against what they know makes sense and is right."
And it's a con man's job to make them feel wanted, included, and loved. Borovitz's definition is a loaded one, and one that applies to a range of human relationships outside of the con man and the patsy.
"Look at how many people fall in love," he continued. "And then they find out that the person they thought they were in love with has no relationship
THE MIND OF A PERFECT VICTIM
Basal forebrain (1)Processes motivation and conjures feelings like enthusiasm or excitement. A perfect victim is easily convinced and eager.
Fronto-striatal network (2)
Responsible for feelings of self-confidence. A perfect victim possesses just enough of it to feel that they deserve what they're after, but not enough of it to overcome the need for validation and affirmation.
Prefrontal cortex (3)
Impulse control and feelings of desire. The perfect victim wants a great deal, and is unable to stop themselves from getting it, no matter how unsavory the circumstances.
But why are we so eager to buy lies? Why does emotion blind us? "Part of it is that they want to believe. Human beings have a tremendous need to be deceived." Borovitz went on to quote a rabbi he admires. "Self-deception is a major disease. Because, to see the truth and to really deal with it is very painful."
"Even though [your victim knows] that, wait a minute, something here's not right, the good con artist overrides that, because he's got you so emotionally attached to him." It's a mental space that Borovitz refers to as "the ether," in which emotion totally silences logic.
The key is to make the victim feel like you truly care about them. "I know what's going on in the victim's world. Their business, their personal life," Borovitz says. A strong emotional bond trumps any doubt.
"…some cons are completely heartless, they're just sociopaths," Borovitz is quick to point out that often, it's impossible not to feel bad for a victim. "But not bad enough to walk away. The need to follow it through almost overrides that."
THE MIND OF A PERFECT VICTIM
Basal forebrain (1)Processes motivation and conjures feelings like enthusiasm or excitement. A perfect victim is easily convinced and eager.
Fronto-striatal network (2)
Responsible for feelings of self-confidence. A perfect victim possesses just enough of it to feel that they deserve what they're after, but not enough of it to overcome the need for validation and affirmation.
Prefrontal cortex (3)
Impulse control and feelings of desire. The perfect victim wants a great deal, and is unable to stop themselves from getting it, no matter how unsavory the circumstances.
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